All I Want for Christmas is to be 5-foot-2

If you could have anything in the world this holiday season, what would you wish for?

As I flip over a new block on our advent calendar each day, it becomes increasingly apparent that Christmas is almost here. I can't believe that it really is that time at last. This week I decided to take some time to create my ideal Christmas list. Here is what I'm wishing for this year:

  1.  A few extra inches of height. At five feet tall, I'm too short to reach boxes of gloves and hats in our closet without knocking them off the shelf first. Supposed "short" length jeans are too tall for me, and still require a cuff or two, or three. In fact, I am forced to buy "petite" jeans over short, because they are twenty eight (rather than thirty) inches long. I'm not asking for anything unreasonable, just two or three inches. As I am approaching my eighteenth birthday, I know that my chances of magically growing taller are slim to none. However, a girl can dream can't she?
  2.   Perfect vision without the aid of glasses or contact lens. I can't imagine how nice it must be to wake up each morning and be able to see clearly. In fact, if I had 20/20 vision, I bet I could get over my fear of sharks. After all, it would be a lot harder for my imagination to run wild if I could say definitively that there were no sharks in my general area while swimming. While Santa may not be able to leave this under my tree this year, I plan to get corrective surgery one day.
  3.  Admission status updates from colleges. The only thing more stressful than filling out the common app and pressing the send button is waiting to hear back!
  4.  The strength and knowledge of a Grand Prix horseback rider. For those of you who ride, you know how valuable this would be. The two foot high fences that I jump would be no match for legs conditioned to soar over fences five feet high or more. I wouldn't have to worry about my position, safe in the knowledge that I was physically and mentally prepared to take on literally anything in the saddle. What a dream!
  5.  A sense of direction. I am notorious in my family for not knowing where I am or where I'm going. I never paid attention to those things as a passenger, and I've certainly paid the price for that. When I passed my permit test and started practicing driving in the summer of 2010, I couldn't even tell you how to get to my house from town. I am proud to declare that I now have the routes to: my home, the high school, the IGA, Key Food, and the barn-that I ride at-memorized. I'm working on everything else. While I love navigation systems as much as the next guy, a mental GPS would be fantastic!
  6.   Artistic ability. I will never forget the day that I discovered my artistic skills were severely lacking. My third grade teacher asked each student to illustrate a character from the tall tale we had read earlier. I was so excited, I even had a vision. I worked quickly, my colored pencils flying across the paper. A line here, a bit of green there, and he was....NOT AT ALL LIKE I'D ENVISIONED HIM!?! He was ugly and definitely not the friendly looking character that I had intended to draw. I later learned that I was not gifted with paintbrushes either. I started using stickers instead of my own art for school projects. It worked well, and I employ that strategy today. I never did learn to draw or paint. Let's just say I earn more points for effort than the beauty of my art work.

Thus, there are quite a few things that I wish could be delivered from Santa's workshop. Unfortunately, he specializes in toys, not miraculous transformations involving height, vision, and sense of direction. I suppose I should add something a bit more realistic to this list.... item number seven will be a sweater, or earrings, or maybe a new pair of boots. Although, do you think the ability to speak French fluently will fit in my stocking?

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Kelsey Renz December 30, 2011 at 12:31 AM
Thanks Michelle!
Kelsey Renz December 30, 2011 at 01:04 AM
LCDR: Robert McCloskey once said "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." While I appreciate the comment, I do not spend a great deal of time dwelling on what I cannot have. I spent about a half hour writing this post in order to provide my readers with my ideal christmas list and perhaps inspire them to write their own. I have since moved on. In a perfect world I would be five foot two, but alas this is not a perfect world. As John Lennon says: you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us....
LCDR December 30, 2011 at 05:17 PM
No, I know what I heard in your article. You put it # one a a list you knew would be published in a virtual newspaper. You just weren't expecting anyone to tell you to get over it. It was there a long time, not a half hour. And you wish you had perfect vision too. Sorry it bothers you, but as I said in my post, it will haunt you and hamper you as long as you think about it.
Kelsey Renz December 30, 2011 at 07:23 PM
I'm sorry that you feel the need to project your feelings onto me and my blog post. I am also sorry that you can only see this blog post in a negative light rather than in the positive way that it is meant to be read. Clearly you do not share the same sense of humor as me and the others who commented before you. However, everyone is entitled to his/her opinion so best wishes for the new year.
LCDR December 30, 2011 at 09:08 PM
My daughter is 6'1"+. Growing up I could see she was not handling it well. Always tallest in her class, always the bullies to tear you down if you let them. She wore flats & was a bit hunched over. About 8th grade I started my project. At every opportunity I would tell her to stand straight, wear low heels, work on her hair, & be proud of herself. I told her she could never get shorter, but she could work wonders with what she had. It took. She began to realize she was good looking the way she was, and it was OK to be taller than most other women. And, she got a grip on her self esteem in time to be a wonderful & proud lady. Today @ 36, she wears high heels & stands straight up, which drives her husband, who is 5' 8', a bit crazy. You see, he saw something in her past a tall person, he saw the real her, which thank God, she decided to show. She sees herself now just as one of God's creatures, and she works with what he gave her. I'm not putting you down, I was trying to be sure you always use what you have to be the best you can be, and that you always feel proud of what God gave you, which I now believe you are. You think being tall is good, but try it young, and watch how 'they', the insecure ones, try to feel better by hurting you. I'm sure you will wear those heels, and be the sparkle in every room. And if anybody ever gives you any c#$% about 5', just tell them what I said about how high your brain needs to be off the ground. Happy New Year Right Back At You.


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